Emo's of the Carribean: The Black Pearl
by CrazyMage
Summary: FINISHED! The first pirates movie filled with emo references. 2&3 comign soon!
1. Chapter 1

Elizabeth: How could this happen to me, I've made my mistakes. Got nowhere to run, the night goes on as I'm faded away I'm sick of this life, I just wanna scream-

Norrington: Elizabeth! What are you singing!?

Elizabeth: Untitled, by Simple Plan

Norrington: That's an emo song! All emos will get what they deserve! A sudden drop and a sudden stop...by their own doing of course!-

Elizabeth: OH LOOK AN EMO BOY!!! WE GOTTA SAVE HIM!

Norrington: sigh

Elizabeth: Hey

cutie! what's your name?

Will: Will...Will Turner.

Scene Change

Elizabeth: Well...that was an odd dream..oh yeah! Today's Norrington's birthday party!

Will: Hi Elizabeth.

Elizabeth: Hi Will!! g2g!

Next: CAPTAIN JACK'S ENTRANCE!


	2. Chapter 2

Yeah...the chapters will be short cuz I'm basing them on scenes...trust me they get better!

Captain Jack leans on the mast of a ship with a pen and paper in his hands Dear Diary, mood: apathetic. My life is spiraling downward, I couldn;t get enough money to go to the Blood Red Romance and Suffocate Me Dry concert, which sucks because they play some of my favorite songs like "Stab my Heart out because I love you" "Rip apart my soul" and of courese "Stabby Rip Stab Stab" and it doesn't help that I couldn't get my hair to do that flippy thing either...like that guy in that band can do, somedays...

Guy: Sir, you have to pay to keep your ship docked.

Captain Jack: you! walks along I'm an emo kid non-conforming as can be you'd be non-conforming too if you looked just like me, I have paint on my nails and make-up on my face I'm almost emo enough to start shaving my legs, cuz I feel real deep when I'm dressin in drag I call it freedom of expression most just call me a fag cuz their dudes look like chicks, they're chicks look like dykes cuz emo is one step below transvestite!

Guard: Excuse me, you can't come here! It's employee's only!

Captain Jack: I'm looking for something, off! savvy?

Guard #2: What?

Captain Jack: The Black Pearl!

Guard #1: Isn't that that ship that's all cursed and stuff?

Guard #2: and hell spat it out?

Captain Jack: ha ha! I'm taking this ship!


	3. OMG NECROPHILIAC!

The other two I already had saved on the computer. This one I'm typing out with the notebook in front of me. I have the first movie done, I'm working on second.

Norrington's Birthday Party

Norrington: Elizabeth, Can I see you outside?

Elizabeth: Ya..

Norrington: As you know, I like short, nerdy girls. You are short and nerdy. Will you marry me?

Elizabeth: (stares blankly) ...SUICIDE!!! (jumps off balcony)

Norrington: (very cheesily) ELIZABETH!!

(back at the last scene)

Captain Jack: My life is just a black abyss, grabbing me and pulling me tighter. Tighter than a pair of my little sister's jeans, which look great on me by the wa- oh a person committing suicide, that means there will be a dead body soon...NECROPHILIAC!! (jumps after Elizabeth)

(cut to Captain Jack dragger her body on the deck)

Captain Jack:eheheheheh...(starts necrophiliacing)

Norrington: GET OFF YOU EMO B. (I can't swear right now cuz I gave up swearing for Lent)

Elizabeth: (gets up and spits water into Captain Jack's face)

Captain Jack: (stares)

Elizabeth: Why are you staring at me?...really? Why? ...okay...that's just creepy now...What? Do you like me or something?

Captain Jack: No, I'm gay.

Elizabeth: (shakes him) THEN WHY THE HECK ARE YOU STARING AT ME!!!

Captain Jack: (to norrington) My affects please...

Norrington: (angrily sighs and hands over emo wrist bands)

Captain Jack: Remember this as the day you almost caught Captain Jack Sparrow! just walks away

I forgot to put this in my previous entries... I haven't been an avid fanfictioner in a while, but I recall there is a rule that requires no scripting. I understand where they're going with that, but I always argue that playwriting and screenwriting are very popular forms of literature and one can make a lot of money. Just because I don't write in straight prose doesn't mean my fic should be deleted.


	4. lolsword

(Blacksmith Place)

Captain Jack: (hides)

Will: (walks in) lalalalallaala...time for work! (notices one of his knives) Theese are my friends..watch how they glisten...HEY WAIT A MINUTE! This isn't where it's supposed to be! ... AAAHHHH EMO BOY!!

Captain Jack: Let's fight!

Will: Ok! (they fight for a while) Gooo Left go right go pick up your step go left go right go left.

Captain Jack: That song was so dumb! Even though it has my name in it! (fight some more)

Will: I practice 3 hours a day and work on my techinique, I can show you if you want. By the way this was not a sexual innuendo at all!

Captain Jack: You need to find yourself a boyfriend, mate!

Will: I practice 3 hours a day so that when i meet an emo kid I CAN KILL IT!

Captain Jack: ORLY??

Will: Stop calling me by my actor's name! (the fight continues)

Norrington: WE FOUND HIM! (handcuffs Jack)

Captain Jack: This is hawt..

Norrington: STFU!


	5. Allo Poppit!

...What's this?? an update for EOTC?? I sorta forgot about EOTC for a bit...it was a bit of an inside joke with some friends. Then I remembered it..and recalled it being bad. Then I looked at it and found that the "inside jokes" were very mild. I showed it to a couple friends and they laughed the whole time! This has inspired me to polish up EOTC 2 and continue on with this.

Once again I'd liek to remind that play writing is a form of fiction and writing. If there's a dispute in this, I'm sure William Shakespeare and Neil Simon can back me up!

I don't own what I don't own. Theres a little bit of inside joke in here.

Jail

Captain Jack: (sits there being emo)

Prisoners: LET ME OUT OF HERE (like Murtagh in Eragon)

Marc: Hi Jack! You're in jail too?

Prisoner: TERRORIST!!

Marc: I gotta bomb. (takes out an egg and throws it and it explodes

Everyone: WE'RE FREE!!

Elizabeth's House

Servant: Elizabeth! Emos are attacking and they're coming for you!

Elizabeth: YES!! I mean...oh noes! I better hide...yeah...hide. (goes away)

Fish Boy: hahaha I'm ra piRate!

Chris: Shut up! We're gonna fail if we don;t get Elizabeth!

Fish Boy: (makes a fish face)

Chris: Where is she?

Fish Boy: knowing Elizabeth, she's probablee in herr closett writing those stupid spongebob stories!

Chris: (opens closet) ALLO POPPIT!

Elizabeth: PARLER!

Fish Boy and Chris: wha??

Elizabeth: parler, it means speak in French, but I'm going to say it means take me to your Captain!! ...teehee...I hope its Captain Jack.


	6. ANYTHIIING?

Hello again! Remember that new post...that was written like, two weeks ago! This post may be posted like, two weeks after that but so what! This is going to be a VERY FUNNY chapter! One more thing, I've started a singing website if you wanna hear my voice go to louiseew. do not own Pirates of the Caribbean. If there is a problem with my writing style, please explain to the SAG writers, who recently were on strike, why script writing is not a valid form of writing!

Elizabeth: You're not Captain Jack!

Barbossa; Yup! I'm some other random Emo Boy! So what did you want to say to me?

Elizabeth: ummm...let me go?

Barbossa: naaahh... (takes an apple) Y'know what my three favorite things in this world are?...Drugs, Alchohol, and Apples! But I can never enjoy these things...you know why? Because...(steps into the moonlight) I'M DEAD!

Elizabeth: screams

Port Royal

Will: (finds Captain Jack) I need to rescue Elizabeth!

Captain Jack: No! I don't like her! She's weird!

Will: Please! I know it's cliche, but...I really like her.

Captain Jack: Love is pointless! No!

Will: Please! (Gets down on his knees) I'll do anything!

Captain Jack: (smiles down at Will) ANYTHIIIING???


	7. emos cut themselves

Hello again!! In Real-World news teh third EOTC is almost done. Its been a fun series to write and I'm really going to miss it. Everyone pray that they make a POTC 4 so I can write another one. I've decided that I most likely am going to post a new chapter every Saturday. Saturday is an easy day for me, I don't really do anything or have homework. So at night I wonder "waht am I going to do" and I start writing EOTC! I usually write the blurb at the beginning during one section and then write the new chapter a few days later.

I FORGOT A DISCLAIMER!! For you newbies to EOTC (pretty much everyone) I wrote this around early 2007 and started submitting it back when what was a year from now. Recently I have returned, and didn't read back my old posts and just figured I'd put a disclaimer. I hope it is't too late to to that. I always found it a little redundant putting the disclaimer in EVERY single chapter...I mean y'all know I don't own it anyway. Well anyways...

I don't own POTC or anyting else that belongs to other peopel that i don't own.

Barbossa: So, what did you say you're name was again?

Elizabeth: um...Turner?

Barbossa : eyes gleam and he drags her to a pile So you said you wanted to be emo...right?

The Other Pirate Ship

Will: THAT WAS THE WORST CLIFFHANGER EVER!1 Now everyone thinks I gave you a blowjob. If someone ever gets the ida that all the characters in this are based of of real people, CM is so dead!

Captain Jack: Who the hell is CM?...YOu said your last name is Turner, right?

Will: Yes!

Captain Jack: I knew your dad, he was wicked emo.

Will: MY FATHER WAS NOT EMO!!

The Pearl

Barbossa: So if you want to be emo, you need to cut yourself, here, and spill your blood into this box.

Elizabeth: Ok! (does so)

Barbossa: Nothing happened...you're name isn't Turner...is it?

Elizabeth: Nope!

Barbossa; w're throwing you on the island!

Captain Jack: MOSH PIT!! (runs in)

Barbossa; ...we're throwing you on the island too...


	8. The Island

First off I would like to say something that made me very happy! The fact someone would read this story then reccomend it to a friend! In development news, the EOTC series, in my notebook is completely done! I just have the closing scene, which is simply epic by the way, and will probably do it when I put it on the site. I lied about the Saturday updating thign...I'll update whevner Iwant...

oh and one more thing! I was driving home the other day when I had this vision. The vision was just a close-up Danny Noriegas face. If you don't know who he is look him up on YT. and all that came out of his mouth was ANYTHIING! and I knew, I KNEW that he was the one...

Elizabeth:...ok you can get us off the island now...

Captain Jack: I can't.

Elizabeth: What do you mean, you can't?

Captain Jack: There's only one escape. I tried it many times but I just can't do it... So...(takes out rum) LETS PARTY!

Elizabeth and Captain Jack: (skipping around a fire) CRAWWWLING IN MY SKIIIN THESE WOUNDS THEY WILL NOT HEEALL, FEAR IS HOW I FAALLL CONFUSSING WHAT IS REAEAAL!

Captain Jack: you're hot!

Elizabeth: (hits him playfully) I havent had enough rum for that kind of talk!

Elizabeth: BURNINATION!!

Captain Jack: What are you doing?

Elizabeth: making a distress signal!

Captain Jack: BUT WHY IS THE RUM GONE!1 (cuts self)

Elizabeth: we really need to get back to the plot

I forgot just how amazing the island scene was...


	9. Jack finds the Black Pearl

I got good news and bad news. Bad news: This chapter will be Emo's of the Carribean: The Black Pearl's final chapter. Good News: I will be back shortly with Emo's of the Carribean 2! The entire story is already in notebook form, as is EOTC 3. The next project I'm working on is a musical of Final Fantasy X.

I am itching for summer so I can update this more. Plus its my senior year, so after this, I NEVER have to wake up at ungodly hours to go to school again!

The Pearl

Will: If Elizabeth likes emo kids, then I must be emo mysel-

Captain Jack: MOSH PIT!1 (giant battle happens with they Hey Yo Captain Jack song playing in the background)

Will: (stares)

Captain Jack: What are you doing? Cut yourself!

Will: (cuts himself) ow...that hurts...

Captain Jack: (stabs Barbossa)

Barbossa: I feel cold... (dies)

Elizabeth: Will, do you really feel that way?

Will: ...yes, but I know you don't like me back cuz I'm not emo!

Elizabeth: (hugs Will) I don't care! Emos are fun to look at but none would ever like me!

Captain Jack: (runs back in holding a bottle) I FOUND THE BLACK PEARL!1

Will: Duh...we're on it!

Captain Jack: No, we're on "The Pearl!" 'The Black Pearl" is my hairdye

Elizabeth: we did all this...for ...hairdye?

Captain Jack: YEP!

Elizabeth: ( attacks him)

END CREDITS

...the end credits are Cotton Eyed Joe, I have no freakign clue why, but I bet it made sense at the time...


End file.
